Just Relax....

After an extended hiatus, I am back! Travis and I have been away the past two weeks on vacation, so my writing has slacked. I figured it would be an appropriate time to write about a major topic that I've been dealing with during my struggles, relaxation! After all, once I go back to work tomorrow, I will have little to no insight on relaxation for a while.

I haven't done any real research in to the topic of stress/relaxation and infertility, but I have talked to handfuls of women who have said the month they got pregnant was the month that they quit worrying about it. I completely understand the concept; if your body is constantly stressed, it is not producing an optimal environment for baby-making. Blood flow is directed other places, hormone levels are off, fatigue sets in, etc., etc. Here is the big problem, how do you MAKE yourself relax?

I've been working very hard on this for the past month, which sounds counterintuitive (and really probably is). There are two big things that hold me back from my relaxation needs:

1. WORK - I have a stressful job. My pharmacist and health care friends all know this well, but for those unfamiliar with healthcare, it is SO stressful. I am on my feet all day (there was an actual ban on chairs in the pharmacy due to decreased productivity), no lunch break and a mentality from both a corporate standpoint and from patient standpoint to get everything done ASAP with no mistakes. 

Before I go on, I absolutely love my job and enjoy the company I work for, but this is my reality. I currently also work in the ghetto (one week left and counting) where I unfortunately encounter a hostile clientele. Just the week before my vacation I had a customer so agitated that she verbally attacked me on the phone and in person over the course of three days and called the cops on me because I would not give her a certain medication (just to clarify, a medicine that was not life threatening and that she had enough of already to last an entire month). This lady single-handedly raised my heart rate for 2-4 hours out of each of my work days. And this is just one example.

2. A-TYPE personality - Funny enough, when I think about most of the women I know with fertility issues, they are almost all A-type's. A-type personalities have a lot of benefit: driven, successful, detail-oriented, hard-working. A-type personalities, however, do not know how to relax. Here is how I would describe an a-type trying to relax:
1. Make a list of ways to relax
2. Put relaxation tasks in to planner with checkboxes to check-off when complete
3. Think about work projects, housecleaning, upcoming events while "relaxing" and feel guilty
4. Chastise one's self for not meeting your relaxation goal
5. Give up and start folding laundry in a color coordinated fashion - think about how relaxing it is to have all of your camisoles lined up from lightest to darkest

So, as you can see, there are some internal battles I am working on here. However, here are some relaxation techniques that I have tried that have worked with at least some degree of success:

1. Take a day and just waste it - I did this post-IUI and it was pretty great. Here was the key, for those other a-types' reading this blog: get all of your shit done before this day. I busted my ass for about a week beforehand, making sure my house was clean, laundry was where it needed to be, bills were paid, etc. If you don't, you will just resort to #3 listed above. 

2. Acupuncture - I believe this is half of the key to why people use this for infertility. Once you are on that table with needles protruding from you, there is nothing else you can do but lay there. It's like a 30 minute time-out; I guess this is why we use time-outs for children? Things like meditation, massage, even yoga probably have similar benefits for those that can't get over the needles.

3. Imbibe (with reason) - 2 months ago, I became very strict about not drinking and eating really healthy for the two weeks following my IUI. Intentions were good, but this only made me feel more stressed out. I'm not saying dieting and moderation are bad, I'm just saying if your goal is to mellow out, it is not the time to set strict restrictions on yourself. If you want the pasta dish, go for the carbs, if you need a champagne bucket with your girlfriends during Sunday brunch, go get you some bucket! The key for me with these things was that I was in a good place for them to not feel guilty afterwards. I was at a good weight and exercising regularly. Now, if I had tried this in January, when I was 10 pounds heavier, this would not have worked. Just like it won't work to imbibe in online shopping or a full spa day if you're already deep in debt. 

4. Exercise, but don't OVERexercise - I like to exercise, but the exercises I enjoy are hard on the body. I like bootcamp style training classes and running. What I realized this month, is I get a lot more enjoyment and almost as much physical benefit if I don't push past exhaustion each workout. This is mainly with running. I always felt awful if I stopped to walk, like I had failed in the exercise. But something just sort of changed in my mentality this past month and I just started telling myself "who cares if you have to take a breather." And the run became more enjoyable and I felt just as good after!

5. Get good sleep - I think the trick to this (and I have mixed success) is being able to fall asleep quickly. It gives your mind less time to sit and think about the worries of the day and get all revved up again. Since I've cut out caffeine, my sleep has honestly been so much better, so if it can be cut out, do it! We've also stopped watching so much TV in the bedroom, which I've heard is helpful from past magazine/research articles. Also, I don't think there's any shame in the occasional Benadryl or Nyquil to get things started in the right direction. 

An actual technique that I learned about for relaxing while trying to get to sleep is to actively engage your mind in relaxing your muscles. You start at the bottom of your body, your toes, and start thinking about relaxing them. You should physically start to feel them relax (for me it kind of feels like a mild numbing sensation). You move up body part by body part (feet, calves, legs, back, arms, etc.). The idea is once you get past your neck to your head you should be asleep. It usually doesn't get me asleep but I feel super relaxed when all is said and done and sleep follows quickly.

I'm sure I am missing so many other good ideas and would love to hear any that you all have. I think adequate relaxation can help so many people on a spectrum far larger than infertility, so hopefully this post will be helpful for many.