This post is mostly going to comprise of a bunch of numbers, but I think it is really important to highlight the financial strain that goes in to infertility on top of all of the emotions. I think it is common knowledge that IVF is crazy expensive and usually used as a last resort. But what about all of the tests, doctors and procedures leading up to it? I am going to highlight just the cost of the month of services surrounding our successful IUI.
I am lucky to have a job that pays a lot of money AND insurance that covers infertility services. I did, however, have to pay a $1500 deductible for the year. The benefit to submitting to my insurance, even though I was still having to pay "full-cost", is that insurance companies have contracted discounted rates and therefore the doc's office or lab cannot charge you more than that rate.
I also had set aside a part of each paycheck (about $48 per paycheck) in to a HSA (health savings account). I don't think it is always worth it to do this, but we knew we would be spending a lot of money this year either trying to get pregnant or being pregnant (or both!). The money set aside basically covers most of my $1500 deductible, so I just have to pay my bills up front, then submit my receipts to my insurance and they cut me a check back for the amount. The major benefit to doing it this way, versus traditional saving, is that the money is taken out pre-tax, so on my taxes I will not get taxed for the $1,248 I put aside for my health care costs.
Below is the list of tests followed by price and amount I was asked to pay for everything involved from my initial visit with Dr. Pasquarette through my pregnancy confirmation test.
Cash Price I Paid
July 2nd: New patient office visit $185.00 $85.41
July 2nd: Transvaginal ultrasound (check ovaries/uterus) $334.00 $189.05
July 8th: Cystic Fibrosis Titer $612.50 $1225**
July 8th: Progesterone Level $99.00 $12.97
July 8th: HCG Quantitive Level (pregnancy hormone) $39.00 $5.44
July 8th: Rubella Titer $87.00 $17.87
July 8th: Varicella/Zoster Screen $188.00 $32.06
July 8th: Antibody Screen Reflex $175.00 $10.01
July 8th: ABO Blood Type $49.00 $3.71
July 8th: RH Type $35.00 $4.85
July 12th: 5 days of Femara (prescription) $43.83 $5.00
July 19th: Transvaginal ultrasound (check egg maturity) $253.00 $112.68
July 19th: Ovidrel Injection (prescription) $79.50 $30.00
July 22nd: Sperm Wash $345.00 $215.15
July 22nd: IUI $300.00 $129.19
August 12th: Progesterone + HCG Quant (confirm pregnancy) $138.00 $18.41
August 14th: Progesterone + HCG Quant (recheck levels) $138.00 $18.41
Grand Total: $3100.83 $890.21
The grand total numbers for cash price may be inflated because all of the lab tests have increased rates that they send to the insurance company. I know this because the cystic fibrosis titer came back rejected from my insurance pending more information. I did not include this amount in my total because I have not paid it yet as I am working/fighting to get this paid through insurance. When talking to the lab they offered me a 50% discount off the price they charged my insurance ($1225.00) which sent me in to fits of rage. What kind of highway robbery is that, I wouldn't want to pay as an insurance company either!! So, assuming all of the labs are inflated by 50%, you could expect the cash price to be closer to $2626.83. Also, a lot of the July 8th blood work is not done until confirmed pregnancy or from a prior pregnancy so not everyone will have as many lab costs.
Moral of the story is, infertility is expensive as shit. I think it is good to understand the financial strains that your friends/co-workers/family might be going through and also to see what the costs are if considering trying more advanced treatments. Of course all of these numbers pay off in the end when you get those two lines on the pregnancy test!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
So, here is the blog post I've been hoping to write since beginning this blog! Travis and I are excited to announce to the blogosphere that
WE ARE PREGNANT!! WE ARE PREGNANT!! WE ARE PREGNANT!!
And...we have been pregnant for about 9 weeks (due April 14th). I was very conflicted on when to post this on here, because anyone that has been following the blog knew I should have been posting a yay or nay at the beginning of August. We decided to err on the side of caution and wait until we had some serious confirmation.
Here's how it all went down. We had our IUI appointment with Dr. Pasquarette on July 22nd and I spent that entire day on bedrest. After that, I only had 4 days of work before I went on vacation for two (GLORIOUS) weeks. I felt SO tired during those couple days at work. So tired that I nearly fell asleep in the dentist's chair 2 days post procedure and fell asleep before the acupuncturist could apply the needles 3 days post procedure. I know this is too early for even implantation but something was definitely going on!
I was able to stay really relaxed and not overthink the whole pregnancy thing during the two week waiting period. I cannot attribute it to anything other than I felt at peace with everything we had tried this month. Dr. Pasquarette was so thorough that there was no guesswork or what if's left for me to stress about. I cannot say enough about him or his staff, but if you are reading this, you live anywhere near Wilmington and are going through a similar problem, USE HIM. Get on the waiting list, put up with his quirks and listen to what he says. This man is a miracle worker.
Anyways, I had decided to test on August 2nd because we had a wedding the next day and I wanted to gauge my drinking status beforehand. Plus, I didn't want it to consume my thoughts or put me in a bad mood the day of the wedding. So, here is how my special moment went down. I was in Montana at our hotel. Travis wasn't in town yet because he had a huge state exam to take for his law enforcement certification. Our good friend, Dan, was there but passed out from the bachelor party the night before. I was really excited to test and couldn't sleep so I decided to just go for it.
I am VERY meticulous about my pee tests. I read the instructions every month and follow to a "t". I was using the first response with the one or two line readout (as per last post). As per instructions, I peed for about 10 seconds, capped the test and set it in a back corner of the bathroom where I couldn't see it and then set my phone timer for 2 minutes. Once 2 minutes was up, I looked at the test and only saw one line - negative. I got upset and cried a little. I picked up the test again to dramatically throw it away in disgust and there, plain as day, were two lines. I suppose my brain just played a little trick on me out of the habit of disappointment. So, then my tears turned to joy and I did a little happy dance alone in the bathroom.
Next came wait time. I wasn't picking up Travis until 11:30 that night, so I got to spend the whole day with me and my secret (sorry Dan you could not be the first to know!). I decided to wrap the positive test in a gift bag to give to him as a "gift" for finishing his exam. I picked him and another friend up from the airport and, once back at the hotel, had to beg him to come up to the room because all he wanted to do was go hang out with his friends. He did agree and when he opened the gift bag, his response was classic: "well no shit."
The next couple days that followed, we literally could not believe it. Travis had me retake a pregnancy test a couple days later just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. The second test came back VERY positive but the anxiety still continued. I went in for a 2 part series of blood tests measuring my HCG (pregnancy) hormone and progesterone levels, separated two days apart. When those came back positive (within range), I then worried that the baby wouldn't thrive. Studies show 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, that is almost one in five!
We were able to schedule an ultrasound for week 7 (which they have to do vaginally that early in the game) and it couldn't come soon enough. I was so nervous that morning that when they started the scan I couldn't talk. They first did a quick scan to count the # of babies, which is only 1 for us! They did find 2 other follicles which I believe means that out of my 4 viable eggs, three tried to fertilize/implant and then the 1 was successful. Pretty crazy! They slowed the scan down to focus on our baby and found the heart beating, which you can actually see beating. Then you could hear it (137 beats per minute, just FYI)! And I just died, literally could not hold my tears in any more. I was so happy and just so relieved.
So I know I am not completely in the clear but I feel really confident with the battery of early tests that were done and I FEEL pregnant. Now it is about staying as stress free as possible, drinking lots of water and trying not to eat everything in sight (I am one of the lucky ones without morning sickness). Here is the announcement that we just sent out to our friends and family:
And in the meantime our family got a second surprise. My sister, Becca and her boyfriend, Josh are ALSO expecting a baby. Becca is due about two weeks before me, but found out about a week after I did. I'm pretty sure there was a little divine intervention in the timing of everything. I am so happy and excited for them but had the news come before we got pregnant, the pill would have been a lot to swallow. Now we get to go through pregnancy together and our babies get to grow up together! We did a 3 part series for our dual pregnancy announcement:
So, to conclude I just have to say a huge thank you from the bottom of my (and Baby G's) beating heart to everyone that took the time to read this blog and send their advice and words of support to us. I honestly believe that the support, prayers and good thoughts were a huge part of making this finally happen and I cannot express how touched I am by all of my amazing friends and family. I am going to keep blogging, both on some continued infertility topics and about my trials and tribulations as a first time preggo. I hope everyone keeps reading and sharing!
WE ARE PREGNANT!! WE ARE PREGNANT!! WE ARE PREGNANT!!
And...we have been pregnant for about 9 weeks (due April 14th). I was very conflicted on when to post this on here, because anyone that has been following the blog knew I should have been posting a yay or nay at the beginning of August. We decided to err on the side of caution and wait until we had some serious confirmation.
 |
| Said Confirmation |
I was able to stay really relaxed and not overthink the whole pregnancy thing during the two week waiting period. I cannot attribute it to anything other than I felt at peace with everything we had tried this month. Dr. Pasquarette was so thorough that there was no guesswork or what if's left for me to stress about. I cannot say enough about him or his staff, but if you are reading this, you live anywhere near Wilmington and are going through a similar problem, USE HIM. Get on the waiting list, put up with his quirks and listen to what he says. This man is a miracle worker.
Anyways, I had decided to test on August 2nd because we had a wedding the next day and I wanted to gauge my drinking status beforehand. Plus, I didn't want it to consume my thoughts or put me in a bad mood the day of the wedding. So, here is how my special moment went down. I was in Montana at our hotel. Travis wasn't in town yet because he had a huge state exam to take for his law enforcement certification. Our good friend, Dan, was there but passed out from the bachelor party the night before. I was really excited to test and couldn't sleep so I decided to just go for it.
I am VERY meticulous about my pee tests. I read the instructions every month and follow to a "t". I was using the first response with the one or two line readout (as per last post). As per instructions, I peed for about 10 seconds, capped the test and set it in a back corner of the bathroom where I couldn't see it and then set my phone timer for 2 minutes. Once 2 minutes was up, I looked at the test and only saw one line - negative. I got upset and cried a little. I picked up the test again to dramatically throw it away in disgust and there, plain as day, were two lines. I suppose my brain just played a little trick on me out of the habit of disappointment. So, then my tears turned to joy and I did a little happy dance alone in the bathroom.
 |
| Positive test and a positively tired mama! Weird fact, I cannot throw these tests away, nine weeks later! |
Next came wait time. I wasn't picking up Travis until 11:30 that night, so I got to spend the whole day with me and my secret (sorry Dan you could not be the first to know!). I decided to wrap the positive test in a gift bag to give to him as a "gift" for finishing his exam. I picked him and another friend up from the airport and, once back at the hotel, had to beg him to come up to the room because all he wanted to do was go hang out with his friends. He did agree and when he opened the gift bag, his response was classic: "well no shit."
The next couple days that followed, we literally could not believe it. Travis had me retake a pregnancy test a couple days later just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. The second test came back VERY positive but the anxiety still continued. I went in for a 2 part series of blood tests measuring my HCG (pregnancy) hormone and progesterone levels, separated two days apart. When those came back positive (within range), I then worried that the baby wouldn't thrive. Studies show 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, that is almost one in five!
We were able to schedule an ultrasound for week 7 (which they have to do vaginally that early in the game) and it couldn't come soon enough. I was so nervous that morning that when they started the scan I couldn't talk. They first did a quick scan to count the # of babies, which is only 1 for us! They did find 2 other follicles which I believe means that out of my 4 viable eggs, three tried to fertilize/implant and then the 1 was successful. Pretty crazy! They slowed the scan down to focus on our baby and found the heart beating, which you can actually see beating. Then you could hear it (137 beats per minute, just FYI)! And I just died, literally could not hold my tears in any more. I was so happy and just so relieved.
So I know I am not completely in the clear but I feel really confident with the battery of early tests that were done and I FEEL pregnant. Now it is about staying as stress free as possible, drinking lots of water and trying not to eat everything in sight (I am one of the lucky ones without morning sickness). Here is the announcement that we just sent out to our friends and family:
 |
| Duty Starts April 2014! |
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| Baby Stachel due March 2014; Baby Galan due April 2014 |
Monday, August 19, 2013
The dreaded pregnancy test
At-home pregnancy tests are the way I would think probably 90% of couples find out they are pregnant. Here's just a little background on how they work. The tests measure the amount of HCG (pregnancy) hormone in the urine. This hormone is really low (reads between 0 and 5) up until about day 12 post ovulation, and then it begins to rise if pregnant and then a few days later really begins to spike. The tests tell you that you can check up to five days early if you test with your first urine of the day, when your hormones will be most concentrated. Once your hormone levels start to rise (usually around day 1 of your missed period), you can test any time of day.
Here is the problem with pregnancy tests. They need to have 2 sections in the drug stores: 1 section for those that don't want a baby and 1 section for those that do. For those that don't want a baby, getting a smiley face or plus sign is probably pretty annoying. However they have alternatives, the double versus single line and the "pregnant" or "not pregnant" display.
Us girls that are trying, and without success, need a new brand of pregnancy tests that are a little more sensitive to our situation. Here is a line-up of what we've currently got available:
1. The positive (+) versus negative (-): that little negative sign just reminds you that you're a loser. Like, you can only feel positive if you are getting an addition to the family
2. Smiley face versus blank circle: see above. You can only be happy if you have a bun in the oven
3. Pregnant versus not pregnant: I started out with these when Travis and I first started really trying, thinking that the cut and dry answer would be so easy to read. But, and I am quoting Travis here, when you get that "not pregnant" result it's a "real kick in the balls." There is no misinterpreting that, no final minutes of false hope.
4. The one versus two line is probably your best option. Nothing too negative and when you only see the one line, you can micro-examine the stick for another couple of minutes to help buffer the reality that you are not pregnant. I've done this a couple of times, I stare really hard making sure I didn't miss a very faint second line or giving it another minute to show up. Obviously, in the end, it is the same result but I don't feel as sad because I have given my mind that little extra time to process. Only problem here is, I imagine, the positive result just wouldn't be as much fun as a positive result for the options above.
Here's what I think. I think we need an option with some humor and a positive spin for those negative results. For example, maybe a baby bottle for a positive and a wine glass for a negative, because let's face it, that's one thing we've got on the preggos. Or, if you like actual wording, a "yea you did it!" for a positive and a "not this month, but did you recently lose weight because you look AH-MAZ-ING" for a negative.
It probably seems pretty weird to obsess over such a small piece of the puzzle but I am telling you those three minutes I spend each month waiting for the results leave me what feels like an eternity to think up these things! I canNOT wait until I get my baby bottle reading, hopefully in the not too far off future!
Here is the problem with pregnancy tests. They need to have 2 sections in the drug stores: 1 section for those that don't want a baby and 1 section for those that do. For those that don't want a baby, getting a smiley face or plus sign is probably pretty annoying. However they have alternatives, the double versus single line and the "pregnant" or "not pregnant" display.
Us girls that are trying, and without success, need a new brand of pregnancy tests that are a little more sensitive to our situation. Here is a line-up of what we've currently got available:
1. The positive (+) versus negative (-): that little negative sign just reminds you that you're a loser. Like, you can only feel positive if you are getting an addition to the family
2. Smiley face versus blank circle: see above. You can only be happy if you have a bun in the oven
3. Pregnant versus not pregnant: I started out with these when Travis and I first started really trying, thinking that the cut and dry answer would be so easy to read. But, and I am quoting Travis here, when you get that "not pregnant" result it's a "real kick in the balls." There is no misinterpreting that, no final minutes of false hope.
4. The one versus two line is probably your best option. Nothing too negative and when you only see the one line, you can micro-examine the stick for another couple of minutes to help buffer the reality that you are not pregnant. I've done this a couple of times, I stare really hard making sure I didn't miss a very faint second line or giving it another minute to show up. Obviously, in the end, it is the same result but I don't feel as sad because I have given my mind that little extra time to process. Only problem here is, I imagine, the positive result just wouldn't be as much fun as a positive result for the options above.
Here's what I think. I think we need an option with some humor and a positive spin for those negative results. For example, maybe a baby bottle for a positive and a wine glass for a negative, because let's face it, that's one thing we've got on the preggos. Or, if you like actual wording, a "yea you did it!" for a positive and a "not this month, but did you recently lose weight because you look AH-MAZ-ING" for a negative.
It probably seems pretty weird to obsess over such a small piece of the puzzle but I am telling you those three minutes I spend each month waiting for the results leave me what feels like an eternity to think up these things! I canNOT wait until I get my baby bottle reading, hopefully in the not too far off future!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Just Relax....
After an extended hiatus, I am back! Travis and I have been away the past two weeks on vacation, so my writing has slacked. I figured it would be an appropriate time to write about a major topic that I've been dealing with during my struggles, relaxation! After all, once I go back to work tomorrow, I will have little to no insight on relaxation for a while.
I haven't done any real research in to the topic of stress/relaxation and infertility, but I have talked to handfuls of women who have said the month they got pregnant was the month that they quit worrying about it. I completely understand the concept; if your body is constantly stressed, it is not producing an optimal environment for baby-making. Blood flow is directed other places, hormone levels are off, fatigue sets in, etc., etc. Here is the big problem, how do you MAKE yourself relax?
I've been working very hard on this for the past month, which sounds counterintuitive (and really probably is). There are two big things that hold me back from my relaxation needs:
1. WORK - I have a stressful job. My pharmacist and health care friends all know this well, but for those unfamiliar with healthcare, it is SO stressful. I am on my feet all day (there was an actual ban on chairs in the pharmacy due to decreased productivity), no lunch break and a mentality from both a corporate standpoint and from patient standpoint to get everything done ASAP with no mistakes.
Before I go on, I absolutely love my job and enjoy the company I work for, but this is my reality. I currently also work in the ghetto (one week left and counting) where I unfortunately encounter a hostile clientele. Just the week before my vacation I had a customer so agitated that she verbally attacked me on the phone and in person over the course of three days and called the cops on me because I would not give her a certain medication (just to clarify, a medicine that was not life threatening and that she had enough of already to last an entire month). This lady single-handedly raised my heart rate for 2-4 hours out of each of my work days. And this is just one example.
2. A-TYPE personality - Funny enough, when I think about most of the women I know with fertility issues, they are almost all A-type's. A-type personalities have a lot of benefit: driven, successful, detail-oriented, hard-working. A-type personalities, however, do not know how to relax. Here is how I would describe an a-type trying to relax:
1. Make a list of ways to relax
2. Put relaxation tasks in to planner with checkboxes to check-off when complete
3. Think about work projects, housecleaning, upcoming events while "relaxing" and feel guilty
4. Chastise one's self for not meeting your relaxation goal
5. Give up and start folding laundry in a color coordinated fashion - think about how relaxing it is to have all of your camisoles lined up from lightest to darkest
So, as you can see, there are some internal battles I am working on here. However, here are some relaxation techniques that I have tried that have worked with at least some degree of success:
1. Take a day and just waste it - I did this post-IUI and it was pretty great. Here was the key, for those other a-types' reading this blog: get all of your shit done before this day. I busted my ass for about a week beforehand, making sure my house was clean, laundry was where it needed to be, bills were paid, etc. If you don't, you will just resort to #3 listed above.
2. Acupuncture - I believe this is half of the key to why people use this for infertility. Once you are on that table with needles protruding from you, there is nothing else you can do but lay there. It's like a 30 minute time-out; I guess this is why we use time-outs for children? Things like meditation, massage, even yoga probably have similar benefits for those that can't get over the needles.
3. Imbibe (with reason) - 2 months ago, I became very strict about not drinking and eating really healthy for the two weeks following my IUI. Intentions were good, but this only made me feel more stressed out. I'm not saying dieting and moderation are bad, I'm just saying if your goal is to mellow out, it is not the time to set strict restrictions on yourself. If you want the pasta dish, go for the carbs, if you need a champagne bucket with your girlfriends during Sunday brunch, go get you some bucket! The key for me with these things was that I was in a good place for them to not feel guilty afterwards. I was at a good weight and exercising regularly. Now, if I had tried this in January, when I was 10 pounds heavier, this would not have worked. Just like it won't work to imbibe in online shopping or a full spa day if you're already deep in debt.
4. Exercise, but don't OVERexercise - I like to exercise, but the exercises I enjoy are hard on the body. I like bootcamp style training classes and running. What I realized this month, is I get a lot more enjoyment and almost as much physical benefit if I don't push past exhaustion each workout. This is mainly with running. I always felt awful if I stopped to walk, like I had failed in the exercise. But something just sort of changed in my mentality this past month and I just started telling myself "who cares if you have to take a breather." And the run became more enjoyable and I felt just as good after!
5. Get good sleep - I think the trick to this (and I have mixed success) is being able to fall asleep quickly. It gives your mind less time to sit and think about the worries of the day and get all revved up again. Since I've cut out caffeine, my sleep has honestly been so much better, so if it can be cut out, do it! We've also stopped watching so much TV in the bedroom, which I've heard is helpful from past magazine/research articles. Also, I don't think there's any shame in the occasional Benadryl or Nyquil to get things started in the right direction.
An actual technique that I learned about for relaxing while trying to get to sleep is to actively engage your mind in relaxing your muscles. You start at the bottom of your body, your toes, and start thinking about relaxing them. You should physically start to feel them relax (for me it kind of feels like a mild numbing sensation). You move up body part by body part (feet, calves, legs, back, arms, etc.). The idea is once you get past your neck to your head you should be asleep. It usually doesn't get me asleep but I feel super relaxed when all is said and done and sleep follows quickly.
I'm sure I am missing so many other good ideas and would love to hear any that you all have. I think adequate relaxation can help so many people on a spectrum far larger than infertility, so hopefully this post will be helpful for many.
I haven't done any real research in to the topic of stress/relaxation and infertility, but I have talked to handfuls of women who have said the month they got pregnant was the month that they quit worrying about it. I completely understand the concept; if your body is constantly stressed, it is not producing an optimal environment for baby-making. Blood flow is directed other places, hormone levels are off, fatigue sets in, etc., etc. Here is the big problem, how do you MAKE yourself relax?
I've been working very hard on this for the past month, which sounds counterintuitive (and really probably is). There are two big things that hold me back from my relaxation needs:
1. WORK - I have a stressful job. My pharmacist and health care friends all know this well, but for those unfamiliar with healthcare, it is SO stressful. I am on my feet all day (there was an actual ban on chairs in the pharmacy due to decreased productivity), no lunch break and a mentality from both a corporate standpoint and from patient standpoint to get everything done ASAP with no mistakes.
Before I go on, I absolutely love my job and enjoy the company I work for, but this is my reality. I currently also work in the ghetto (one week left and counting) where I unfortunately encounter a hostile clientele. Just the week before my vacation I had a customer so agitated that she verbally attacked me on the phone and in person over the course of three days and called the cops on me because I would not give her a certain medication (just to clarify, a medicine that was not life threatening and that she had enough of already to last an entire month). This lady single-handedly raised my heart rate for 2-4 hours out of each of my work days. And this is just one example.
2. A-TYPE personality - Funny enough, when I think about most of the women I know with fertility issues, they are almost all A-type's. A-type personalities have a lot of benefit: driven, successful, detail-oriented, hard-working. A-type personalities, however, do not know how to relax. Here is how I would describe an a-type trying to relax:
1. Make a list of ways to relax
2. Put relaxation tasks in to planner with checkboxes to check-off when complete
3. Think about work projects, housecleaning, upcoming events while "relaxing" and feel guilty
4. Chastise one's self for not meeting your relaxation goal
5. Give up and start folding laundry in a color coordinated fashion - think about how relaxing it is to have all of your camisoles lined up from lightest to darkest
So, as you can see, there are some internal battles I am working on here. However, here are some relaxation techniques that I have tried that have worked with at least some degree of success:
1. Take a day and just waste it - I did this post-IUI and it was pretty great. Here was the key, for those other a-types' reading this blog: get all of your shit done before this day. I busted my ass for about a week beforehand, making sure my house was clean, laundry was where it needed to be, bills were paid, etc. If you don't, you will just resort to #3 listed above.
2. Acupuncture - I believe this is half of the key to why people use this for infertility. Once you are on that table with needles protruding from you, there is nothing else you can do but lay there. It's like a 30 minute time-out; I guess this is why we use time-outs for children? Things like meditation, massage, even yoga probably have similar benefits for those that can't get over the needles.
3. Imbibe (with reason) - 2 months ago, I became very strict about not drinking and eating really healthy for the two weeks following my IUI. Intentions were good, but this only made me feel more stressed out. I'm not saying dieting and moderation are bad, I'm just saying if your goal is to mellow out, it is not the time to set strict restrictions on yourself. If you want the pasta dish, go for the carbs, if you need a champagne bucket with your girlfriends during Sunday brunch, go get you some bucket! The key for me with these things was that I was in a good place for them to not feel guilty afterwards. I was at a good weight and exercising regularly. Now, if I had tried this in January, when I was 10 pounds heavier, this would not have worked. Just like it won't work to imbibe in online shopping or a full spa day if you're already deep in debt.
4. Exercise, but don't OVERexercise - I like to exercise, but the exercises I enjoy are hard on the body. I like bootcamp style training classes and running. What I realized this month, is I get a lot more enjoyment and almost as much physical benefit if I don't push past exhaustion each workout. This is mainly with running. I always felt awful if I stopped to walk, like I had failed in the exercise. But something just sort of changed in my mentality this past month and I just started telling myself "who cares if you have to take a breather." And the run became more enjoyable and I felt just as good after!
5. Get good sleep - I think the trick to this (and I have mixed success) is being able to fall asleep quickly. It gives your mind less time to sit and think about the worries of the day and get all revved up again. Since I've cut out caffeine, my sleep has honestly been so much better, so if it can be cut out, do it! We've also stopped watching so much TV in the bedroom, which I've heard is helpful from past magazine/research articles. Also, I don't think there's any shame in the occasional Benadryl or Nyquil to get things started in the right direction.
An actual technique that I learned about for relaxing while trying to get to sleep is to actively engage your mind in relaxing your muscles. You start at the bottom of your body, your toes, and start thinking about relaxing them. You should physically start to feel them relax (for me it kind of feels like a mild numbing sensation). You move up body part by body part (feet, calves, legs, back, arms, etc.). The idea is once you get past your neck to your head you should be asleep. It usually doesn't get me asleep but I feel super relaxed when all is said and done and sleep follows quickly.
I'm sure I am missing so many other good ideas and would love to hear any that you all have. I think adequate relaxation can help so many people on a spectrum far larger than infertility, so hopefully this post will be helpful for many.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
IUI Round 2
So, today was our second round of IUI, this time with Dr. P (the fertility specialist). The experience I had today and the days leading up today felt really good. What I like the most about the specialist's office is that they give you so much more instruction that you feel very confident going in to the procedure. More confidence = less stress which is what everyone tells me I need.
I'll start with the ovulation tests. I did use the Clearblue Easy sticks this month instead of the monitor starting on day 8 (which the nurse told me was this past Monday, again leaving me with no guesswork). I had two days of low fertility (day 8 and 9) followed by two days of high fertility (day 10 and 11). I called the nurse when I got the first high read (which is signaled by a blinking smiley face) and we both expected that I would "surge" on Friday (day 12) and do the IUI on Saturday (day 13). Friday morning came and my smiley face was still blinking at me, which of course led to minor panic that these tests were not going to read correctly, just like the past two months.
Luckily, the nurse for Dr. P had already scheduled a day 12 ultrasound for that morning. The ultrasound is meant to check the maturity of your eggs (follicles if we are being technical). I went in and I had four eggs brewing!!! And this time from my left ovary. I had always thought that the ovaries switched back and forth month to month (such a team!) but the nurse said not necessarily. However, mine did and I am super excited about the multiple eggs, which means the femara was working (without side effects so far).
A little surprise came in the form of an injection called Ovidrel. I wasn't expecting to use an injection this first month, but after Dr. P looked at the ultrasound he thought it would be a good idea to essentially force the eggs out. I was instructed to inject on Saturday night (they were specific, between 8pm and 9pm), which would induce my LH surge (the hormone surge before ovulation). The expectation is to get the surge next day (day 14) and do the IUI in the morning of day 15, right as the eggs are popping out.
I had plans for a girls night in with my friends, Anne and Jess. I do NOT want to become that person that doesn't go out and have fun because they are so wrapped up in the procedures and timing and medicine, etc, etc, etc. So, I told the girls post dinner I was shooting up. And, because they are such great friends, they not only didn't care but urged me to videotape the injection and helped me through it. I was a little nervous about self-injecting, but as a pharmacist I have counseled numerous diabetic patients about how they should not fear the needle, so I couldn't really chicken out and have someone else do it. Below are a couple pictures and then the video of me injecting. And no judgement on my stomach, we just finished dinner!!!
Prefilled syringe. You let it come to room
temperature for 20 minutes before injecting
Link to ovidrel injection video:
http://youtu.be/3Jp2680suKc
Don't you know, low and behold my ovulation test showed peak fertility the next morning, meaning I had my surge, meaning the injection worked! I had set up an appointment for the IUI for 9:00am this morning once we established our plan on Friday. We had to go to a separate lab to get the sperm wash, which was to take about an hour and 20 minutes. My last IUI, they only washed the sperm for 15 minutes. I don't know if that makes a difference, but it seems like it should. As you probably were wondering, yes poor Travis had to produce a "sample" at 6:30 this morning. That is very early to have to produce anything, especially under a time constraint and pressure.
We dropped off the sample and walked around downtown for a little bit, got some coffee and went to breakfast. I really enjoyed this time we got to spend together and it helped ease the anxiety of the procedure. Plus, I'm sure huevos rancheros can only help fertilization along. The rest of the procedure was all pretty technical, picked up the concentrated sample, took to Dr. P's office, got in my stirrups and let the doc do his thing. They had to tilt my cervix again, just like last month, because it wasn't letting the catheter through, but beyond that hiccup the whole procedure went smooth and quick. They had me lay on my back for 10 minutes afterward, just as they had the first time.
Here is the best part of the whole experience. My mom had heard from a friend of ours in Pittsburgh, who is a nurse, that it is important to be on bed rest for the rest of the day post-IUI. All of the docs poo-poo this and say you can go on with your day like normal, but who wouldn't want to take the advice leaning towards rest and relaxation! Plus, you don't really argue with my mom with certain things, potential grandbabies being one of them (reference text below). While I don't think there is a whole lot of science to the theory, my guess is that it goes along with the whole "your body is too stressed and that makes the environment difficult for conceiving" theory, which I believe is probably pretty accurate. Of all the couples I know that have faced infertility, most are driven A-type personalities that probably don't know how to take a day off to relax. Myself included, I have had to work hard to be lazy today, if that makes any sense! Now all I have to do is continue to relax and try to just enjoy myself for the next two weeks. Fingers crossed!
.JPG)
I'll start with the ovulation tests. I did use the Clearblue Easy sticks this month instead of the monitor starting on day 8 (which the nurse told me was this past Monday, again leaving me with no guesswork). I had two days of low fertility (day 8 and 9) followed by two days of high fertility (day 10 and 11). I called the nurse when I got the first high read (which is signaled by a blinking smiley face) and we both expected that I would "surge" on Friday (day 12) and do the IUI on Saturday (day 13). Friday morning came and my smiley face was still blinking at me, which of course led to minor panic that these tests were not going to read correctly, just like the past two months.
Luckily, the nurse for Dr. P had already scheduled a day 12 ultrasound for that morning. The ultrasound is meant to check the maturity of your eggs (follicles if we are being technical). I went in and I had four eggs brewing!!! And this time from my left ovary. I had always thought that the ovaries switched back and forth month to month (such a team!) but the nurse said not necessarily. However, mine did and I am super excited about the multiple eggs, which means the femara was working (without side effects so far).
A little surprise came in the form of an injection called Ovidrel. I wasn't expecting to use an injection this first month, but after Dr. P looked at the ultrasound he thought it would be a good idea to essentially force the eggs out. I was instructed to inject on Saturday night (they were specific, between 8pm and 9pm), which would induce my LH surge (the hormone surge before ovulation). The expectation is to get the surge next day (day 14) and do the IUI in the morning of day 15, right as the eggs are popping out.
I had plans for a girls night in with my friends, Anne and Jess. I do NOT want to become that person that doesn't go out and have fun because they are so wrapped up in the procedures and timing and medicine, etc, etc, etc. So, I told the girls post dinner I was shooting up. And, because they are such great friends, they not only didn't care but urged me to videotape the injection and helped me through it. I was a little nervous about self-injecting, but as a pharmacist I have counseled numerous diabetic patients about how they should not fear the needle, so I couldn't really chicken out and have someone else do it. Below are a couple pictures and then the video of me injecting. And no judgement on my stomach, we just finished dinner!!!
 |
| Ovidrel box. Kept refrigerated until time to use |
temperature for 20 minutes before injecting
Link to ovidrel injection video:
http://youtu.be/3Jp2680suKc
Don't you know, low and behold my ovulation test showed peak fertility the next morning, meaning I had my surge, meaning the injection worked! I had set up an appointment for the IUI for 9:00am this morning once we established our plan on Friday. We had to go to a separate lab to get the sperm wash, which was to take about an hour and 20 minutes. My last IUI, they only washed the sperm for 15 minutes. I don't know if that makes a difference, but it seems like it should. As you probably were wondering, yes poor Travis had to produce a "sample" at 6:30 this morning. That is very early to have to produce anything, especially under a time constraint and pressure.
 |
| Solid smiley = Peak fertility!! |
 |
| Travis with his concentrated "seed." |
We dropped off the sample and walked around downtown for a little bit, got some coffee and went to breakfast. I really enjoyed this time we got to spend together and it helped ease the anxiety of the procedure. Plus, I'm sure huevos rancheros can only help fertilization along. The rest of the procedure was all pretty technical, picked up the concentrated sample, took to Dr. P's office, got in my stirrups and let the doc do his thing. They had to tilt my cervix again, just like last month, because it wasn't letting the catheter through, but beyond that hiccup the whole procedure went smooth and quick. They had me lay on my back for 10 minutes afterward, just as they had the first time.
Here is the best part of the whole experience. My mom had heard from a friend of ours in Pittsburgh, who is a nurse, that it is important to be on bed rest for the rest of the day post-IUI. All of the docs poo-poo this and say you can go on with your day like normal, but who wouldn't want to take the advice leaning towards rest and relaxation! Plus, you don't really argue with my mom with certain things, potential grandbabies being one of them (reference text below). While I don't think there is a whole lot of science to the theory, my guess is that it goes along with the whole "your body is too stressed and that makes the environment difficult for conceiving" theory, which I believe is probably pretty accurate. Of all the couples I know that have faced infertility, most are driven A-type personalities that probably don't know how to take a day off to relax. Myself included, I have had to work hard to be lazy today, if that makes any sense! Now all I have to do is continue to relax and try to just enjoy myself for the next two weeks. Fingers crossed!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Fertility Testing - Intermediate Level
I've been meaning to write this post for a while but it got pushed back with all of the crappy emotional stuff last week. I went a few weeks ago to a fertility specialist, Dr. Pasquarette, to basically move on to the next phase of fertility testing and treatments. I received a lot of information that I am excited to share!
There are two fertility specialists in Wilmington, NC (for those of you reading locally), but Dr. Pasquarette is the only nationally certified specialist. I had heard from a number of people that he is the best to use, although he had a personality that was just....off. I figured if I'm going to go spend all this extra money and go through advanced treatments that it probably needs to be with the best I can get. I called the office back in April and could not get an appointment until July 2nd. This was frustrating but also a sign of how good he is.
July 2nd came and I actually got to my appointment 10 minutes early which NEVER happens with me (just ask my husband, he LOVES how I'm always late for everything). I walk in, give my name, had my ID and insurance card ready and then the receptionist tells me I had cancelled my appointment. Just as any mature, professional young woman would do, I started crying right in the middle of the waiting room. Thank you Clomid. I knew, with complete certainty, that I had not cancelled my appointment and I just went in to a panic that I would have to wait three more months to see the doc.
Luckily the crazy worked and Dr. Pasquarette said he could squeeze me in at the end of his lunch. He even offered to share his fries. Good doc! Just an FYI, as it turned out, the appointment that was supposed to be after me never showed up; when they called her she said she had cancelled. That was nice because it helped make me look less crazy, at least I hope it did.
So, to get to the actual point of this post, here is what we went over. Dr. Pasquarette explained a number of tests that we could run, but, in his own words, "they were bull shit". He talked that way to me the whole time, as if we were just chatting at a bar or something, which I loved. I could see why others would be turned off by this demeanor though. The "bull shit" tests that I remember him talking about were the post-coital mucus test (talked about previously) and laprascopic surgery (this is not bull shit for every person, just in my case because I have no history or signs of endometriosis and had a clean HSG scan). After going through mine and Travis's health/family history, he confirmed that nothing stuck out as a cause of our infertility. We came up with the following three options:
1. IUI with Femara or Clomid with possible addition of a trigger point injection (I am not 100% that this is the right word, but it sticks out in my mind so we'll go with it. Essentially, it's an injection that makes your eggs pop out of your ovaries, i.e. forces ovulation).
2. IUI with injectable meds
3. In Vitro Fertilization
I LOVED that he gave me the options, instead of just following a strict order of directives. We decided to go with IUI + Femara for the next two rounds and then increase to addition of trigger point for the two rounds following that. Him and his staff were so detailed in how to proceed, it makes me feel so much more confident in what I am doing. The instructions for this round were:
1. Call office on 1st day of period/cycle day 1- they will then call in Femara (2.5mg 2 tabs daily on days 3 through 7)
2. Start Femara on Day 3 of cycle
3. Start testing for ovulation on Day 8 of cycle. He recommended using the ClearBlue Easy, but not the monitor I had been using. He likes using the sticks which are $44.99 for a pack of 10 (1 month supply). I did start using these and they are a little more user friendly than the monitor. You can test any time in the morning, not just in the set 4 hour block, which is nice if you have to pee early or sleep in later than you were supposed to (both of which I was prone to doing). You get a plain circle for low fertility, flashing happy face for high fertility and solid happy face for peak. Overall, it gives you your 4 highest fertility days versus 6 with the full monitor.
4. If I have not reached peak fertility by day 12, come in for an ultrasound, where they will measure the maturity of my eggs. I would repeat this every 3 days until I got a peak reading
5. Call office on the first day of peak reading (solid happy face). They will schedule the IUI for the next morning. We have to go to a lab to have the sperm "washed" for 45 minutes and then bring that sample to his office for the IUI
He also set me up with a couple additional tests (apparently non-bullshit). He was adamant about me getting a blood test to check if I was a carrier for cystic fibrosis. He also wants Travis's checked. I told him that I had thought you were only supposed to do that once pregnant, and he brought up the point that wouldn't it be too late then to make alternative decisions. For instance, if Travis and I would both come back as carriers, we would have a 1 in 4 chance of having a child with cystic fibrosis. They usually recommend going straight to IVF in this case (not exactly sure why) or some couples may change their mind on having a child. I have not received my results from this test yet, but I am glad he recommended it and I wonder why more docs don't?
We did a sonogram as well to check out my uterus and ovaries and make sure there were no blockages or other issues going on. It gives a different view than the HSG apparently. The sonogram was fascinating, once I figured out what was what. Everything was good but my right ovary was six times the size of my left. They said this is normal with clomid as the ovary that is ovulating that month will likely be spitting out some extra eggs. They saw three. I also had a "fluffy" uterus, which is a good thing! This test ended up being part of the reason I thought I was pregnant last month, which kind of sucks, but interesting none the less! Here are some pics of the sonogram:
There are two fertility specialists in Wilmington, NC (for those of you reading locally), but Dr. Pasquarette is the only nationally certified specialist. I had heard from a number of people that he is the best to use, although he had a personality that was just....off. I figured if I'm going to go spend all this extra money and go through advanced treatments that it probably needs to be with the best I can get. I called the office back in April and could not get an appointment until July 2nd. This was frustrating but also a sign of how good he is.
July 2nd came and I actually got to my appointment 10 minutes early which NEVER happens with me (just ask my husband, he LOVES how I'm always late for everything). I walk in, give my name, had my ID and insurance card ready and then the receptionist tells me I had cancelled my appointment. Just as any mature, professional young woman would do, I started crying right in the middle of the waiting room. Thank you Clomid. I knew, with complete certainty, that I had not cancelled my appointment and I just went in to a panic that I would have to wait three more months to see the doc.
Luckily the crazy worked and Dr. Pasquarette said he could squeeze me in at the end of his lunch. He even offered to share his fries. Good doc! Just an FYI, as it turned out, the appointment that was supposed to be after me never showed up; when they called her she said she had cancelled. That was nice because it helped make me look less crazy, at least I hope it did.
So, to get to the actual point of this post, here is what we went over. Dr. Pasquarette explained a number of tests that we could run, but, in his own words, "they were bull shit". He talked that way to me the whole time, as if we were just chatting at a bar or something, which I loved. I could see why others would be turned off by this demeanor though. The "bull shit" tests that I remember him talking about were the post-coital mucus test (talked about previously) and laprascopic surgery (this is not bull shit for every person, just in my case because I have no history or signs of endometriosis and had a clean HSG scan). After going through mine and Travis's health/family history, he confirmed that nothing stuck out as a cause of our infertility. We came up with the following three options:
1. IUI with Femara or Clomid with possible addition of a trigger point injection (I am not 100% that this is the right word, but it sticks out in my mind so we'll go with it. Essentially, it's an injection that makes your eggs pop out of your ovaries, i.e. forces ovulation).
2. IUI with injectable meds
3. In Vitro Fertilization
I LOVED that he gave me the options, instead of just following a strict order of directives. We decided to go with IUI + Femara for the next two rounds and then increase to addition of trigger point for the two rounds following that. Him and his staff were so detailed in how to proceed, it makes me feel so much more confident in what I am doing. The instructions for this round were:
1. Call office on 1st day of period/cycle day 1- they will then call in Femara (2.5mg 2 tabs daily on days 3 through 7)
2. Start Femara on Day 3 of cycle
3. Start testing for ovulation on Day 8 of cycle. He recommended using the ClearBlue Easy, but not the monitor I had been using. He likes using the sticks which are $44.99 for a pack of 10 (1 month supply). I did start using these and they are a little more user friendly than the monitor. You can test any time in the morning, not just in the set 4 hour block, which is nice if you have to pee early or sleep in later than you were supposed to (both of which I was prone to doing). You get a plain circle for low fertility, flashing happy face for high fertility and solid happy face for peak. Overall, it gives you your 4 highest fertility days versus 6 with the full monitor.
.JPG) |
| Pic of ovulation test on day 10 (today), can't see the flashing. High fertility! |
5. Call office on the first day of peak reading (solid happy face). They will schedule the IUI for the next morning. We have to go to a lab to have the sperm "washed" for 45 minutes and then bring that sample to his office for the IUI
He also set me up with a couple additional tests (apparently non-bullshit). He was adamant about me getting a blood test to check if I was a carrier for cystic fibrosis. He also wants Travis's checked. I told him that I had thought you were only supposed to do that once pregnant, and he brought up the point that wouldn't it be too late then to make alternative decisions. For instance, if Travis and I would both come back as carriers, we would have a 1 in 4 chance of having a child with cystic fibrosis. They usually recommend going straight to IVF in this case (not exactly sure why) or some couples may change their mind on having a child. I have not received my results from this test yet, but I am glad he recommended it and I wonder why more docs don't?
We did a sonogram as well to check out my uterus and ovaries and make sure there were no blockages or other issues going on. It gives a different view than the HSG apparently. The sonogram was fascinating, once I figured out what was what. Everything was good but my right ovary was six times the size of my left. They said this is normal with clomid as the ovary that is ovulating that month will likely be spitting out some extra eggs. They saw three. I also had a "fluffy" uterus, which is a good thing! This test ended up being part of the reason I thought I was pregnant last month, which kind of sucks, but interesting none the less! Here are some pics of the sonogram:
.jpg) |
| Left ovary (i.e. puny, lame ovary). This is a split screen shot. You can see the size better on the right side shot. It is the dark acorn looking thing towards the right corner. There are two lines measuring the size |
.jpg) |
| Right ovary (i.e. super ovary!). It it at the top of the pic, you can see the thin lines measuring it. Crazy big compared to above! |
.jpg) |
| My fluffy uterus. Again, you can follow the lines to see the measurement. |
I will be going back to Dr. P in a couple of days once my ovulation test peaks and I look forward to sharing more updates on this new experience!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Tough Break
It's taken me a few days to get back to this blog and to be honest I really didn't want to write tonight. I had a pretty tough past week and I just didn't want to do any more "work" related to trying to get pregnant. But, I think the disappointments need to be expressed, along with the good stuff in order to get a truly accurate picture of the process. So, here goes.
As you all know, Travis and I had an IUI done a couple of weeks ago and this past Saturday was supposed to be day 1 of my period/new cycle. Leading up to this past weekend, everything seemed to be falling in to place. I got my FSH level from the doc (follicle stimulating hormone) and it was 60.8 which is an amazing read. If trying to get pregnant, the goal is to be >10 and on clomid >20. So I knocked that baby out of the park. The reading was done through my ob-gyn and they told me I should take a pregnancy test. I told them no, I was waiting until Monday (about 6 days later) because I had promised myself that I would wait until I was sure I had missed my period. My acupuncturist used a bunch of different needle stick sites during my session last week and told me to relax and avoid lifting anything heavy. Also, the infertility doc (which I am excited to post about next time!) did a sonogram and the epithelium (lining) in my uterus was "fluffy" (which is apparently good) and it showed I had ovulated and there were 3 follicles (eggs).
Armed with all of this info, I became extremely hopeful. At the same time, my boobs started to hurt, my lower back ached and I started feeling really tired. I stopped drinking any alcohol or caffeine and tried to eat a lot of fish, as directed by the acupuncturist. And then came Saturday. I woke up and had one tiny speck of blood and got really upset assuming my period was starting, like clockwork as always. But then, it went away! And believe me, I checked and checked and checked. I had to work that day and probably went to the bathroom once an hour, I hope nobody was tracking! I stayed period-free that entire day and got even more excited.
On Sunday, I started getting spotting but when I looked it up, it resembled implantation bleeding EXACTLY. Implantation bleeding occurs a couple of days after the fertilized egg implants in to the walls of the uterus, is fairly common and usually appears as dark colored spotting. When my period starts, it is like a tidal wave and usually involved a lot of cramping, which I did not have, so I summed it up as the implantation bleeding and continued to be excited.
Sunday night I could not sleep, I was so excited and nervous. So at 12:15am Monday morning I got up to take my pregnancy test. And it was negative. And then my period started, literally within hours of taking the test. My body had just played a mean practical joke on itself.
I just don't know if words can truly describe the heartbreak that this brings on. The disappointment is overwhelming, I feel like an idiot for thinking I had pregnancy symptoms and it honestly feels like someone has died. It is that burning pain in your heart, an actual physical pain, that I have only really felt in the past when I've lost a loved one. I know nothing actually died, but in my mind for that past week I was pregnant and then with one test I was not, so in that way my baby died. And all that hopefulness that I had created over the past week, just led to a bigger fall this month. Travis had warned me all week not to get my hopes up to high and I wish I had been able to listen to him.
I couple this sadness with fierce frustration. How can this be that hard? We literally put over 100 million sperm right where they needed to be, pumped out three different eggs and provided the most nurturing environment for implantation and growth. I can't wrap my mind, rationally, why this can't work other than my body just can't sustain a pregnancy. This is the fear that I cannot shake this month, even now that the sadness has mostly gone away.
As you all know, Travis and I had an IUI done a couple of weeks ago and this past Saturday was supposed to be day 1 of my period/new cycle. Leading up to this past weekend, everything seemed to be falling in to place. I got my FSH level from the doc (follicle stimulating hormone) and it was 60.8 which is an amazing read. If trying to get pregnant, the goal is to be >10 and on clomid >20. So I knocked that baby out of the park. The reading was done through my ob-gyn and they told me I should take a pregnancy test. I told them no, I was waiting until Monday (about 6 days later) because I had promised myself that I would wait until I was sure I had missed my period. My acupuncturist used a bunch of different needle stick sites during my session last week and told me to relax and avoid lifting anything heavy. Also, the infertility doc (which I am excited to post about next time!) did a sonogram and the epithelium (lining) in my uterus was "fluffy" (which is apparently good) and it showed I had ovulated and there were 3 follicles (eggs).
Armed with all of this info, I became extremely hopeful. At the same time, my boobs started to hurt, my lower back ached and I started feeling really tired. I stopped drinking any alcohol or caffeine and tried to eat a lot of fish, as directed by the acupuncturist. And then came Saturday. I woke up and had one tiny speck of blood and got really upset assuming my period was starting, like clockwork as always. But then, it went away! And believe me, I checked and checked and checked. I had to work that day and probably went to the bathroom once an hour, I hope nobody was tracking! I stayed period-free that entire day and got even more excited.
On Sunday, I started getting spotting but when I looked it up, it resembled implantation bleeding EXACTLY. Implantation bleeding occurs a couple of days after the fertilized egg implants in to the walls of the uterus, is fairly common and usually appears as dark colored spotting. When my period starts, it is like a tidal wave and usually involved a lot of cramping, which I did not have, so I summed it up as the implantation bleeding and continued to be excited.
Sunday night I could not sleep, I was so excited and nervous. So at 12:15am Monday morning I got up to take my pregnancy test. And it was negative. And then my period started, literally within hours of taking the test. My body had just played a mean practical joke on itself.
I just don't know if words can truly describe the heartbreak that this brings on. The disappointment is overwhelming, I feel like an idiot for thinking I had pregnancy symptoms and it honestly feels like someone has died. It is that burning pain in your heart, an actual physical pain, that I have only really felt in the past when I've lost a loved one. I know nothing actually died, but in my mind for that past week I was pregnant and then with one test I was not, so in that way my baby died. And all that hopefulness that I had created over the past week, just led to a bigger fall this month. Travis had warned me all week not to get my hopes up to high and I wish I had been able to listen to him.
I couple this sadness with fierce frustration. How can this be that hard? We literally put over 100 million sperm right where they needed to be, pumped out three different eggs and provided the most nurturing environment for implantation and growth. I can't wrap my mind, rationally, why this can't work other than my body just can't sustain a pregnancy. This is the fear that I cannot shake this month, even now that the sadness has mostly gone away.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Top 5 Things Never To Say To An Infertile Couple
I want to preface this list by saying, if you have ever said these things to me, I am not mad at you! I know when people say the following it is with best intentions and I love you all for it, but let's just agree not to say them anymore :)
5. Don't worry, you're next!
This one isn't quite so bad, because it is an encouraging statement. Here is the one problem, us "infertiles" have heard this the past x number of times and we have NOT been next. In my case, I heard this a lot right after we got married and then it died off as people started to realize that we were in fact not next!
My best friend, Jess, told me one day when we were talking about my issues "I have a feeling you will get pregnant this summer." I really liked this statement, and I of course would not hold her to that (or maybe I should, what could I get out of it?!). The "you're next" is kind of generic but setting a time frame like that makes the person feel like you really do think they will get pregnant soon. Also, hearing a concrete time frame, like "summer", made the statement individualized, like she wouldn't just say this to everyone thinking about having kids. These type of statements are a much better way of telling someone essentially "hey, I'm on your side, it'll be soon."
4. You know how it works right?
This one only stings if you say it at the wrong time of the month. If my period just ended and I haven't gone Clomid crazy yet, I can laugh along with this one. If I just got a negative pregnancy test or my hormones are raging, I might try to take you out. I'm assuming this statement is usually used to try to lighten the mood or keep the conversation funny, because obviously everybody knows how having a baby works (you just keep your window open and hope the stork flies in, duh!). My advice for this statement is proceed with caution! Make sure you REALLY know the person or have a good gauge on their mood/temperament before going there.
3. Everything happens for a reason.
This might just be me being bitchy, because I know this is a popular saying, but I just hate this quote. Even though it may be true, it still doesn't mean anything to the person struggling through. If you dare say this to me, you best follow up with the exact reason. I think that is a good rule of thumb, if you don't have the reason, don't tell me there's a reason!
2. It will happen when you're truly ready.
This one is truly a punch in the gut. Again, I'm sure intentions are good and sure it could be true, but this statement basically says to the person "you aren't pregnant yet because you're not ready to be a parent." Unless the person you are talking to is a serious degenerate just don't say this one. EVER. It's not helpful. Promise!
5. Don't worry, you're next!
This one isn't quite so bad, because it is an encouraging statement. Here is the one problem, us "infertiles" have heard this the past x number of times and we have NOT been next. In my case, I heard this a lot right after we got married and then it died off as people started to realize that we were in fact not next!
My best friend, Jess, told me one day when we were talking about my issues "I have a feeling you will get pregnant this summer." I really liked this statement, and I of course would not hold her to that (or maybe I should, what could I get out of it?!). The "you're next" is kind of generic but setting a time frame like that makes the person feel like you really do think they will get pregnant soon. Also, hearing a concrete time frame, like "summer", made the statement individualized, like she wouldn't just say this to everyone thinking about having kids. These type of statements are a much better way of telling someone essentially "hey, I'm on your side, it'll be soon."
4. You know how it works right?
This one only stings if you say it at the wrong time of the month. If my period just ended and I haven't gone Clomid crazy yet, I can laugh along with this one. If I just got a negative pregnancy test or my hormones are raging, I might try to take you out. I'm assuming this statement is usually used to try to lighten the mood or keep the conversation funny, because obviously everybody knows how having a baby works (you just keep your window open and hope the stork flies in, duh!). My advice for this statement is proceed with caution! Make sure you REALLY know the person or have a good gauge on their mood/temperament before going there.
3. Everything happens for a reason.
This might just be me being bitchy, because I know this is a popular saying, but I just hate this quote. Even though it may be true, it still doesn't mean anything to the person struggling through. If you dare say this to me, you best follow up with the exact reason. I think that is a good rule of thumb, if you don't have the reason, don't tell me there's a reason!
2. It will happen when you're truly ready.
This one is truly a punch in the gut. Again, I'm sure intentions are good and sure it could be true, but this statement basically says to the person "you aren't pregnant yet because you're not ready to be a parent." Unless the person you are talking to is a serious degenerate just don't say this one. EVER. It's not helpful. Promise!
And now for the #1 thing to NEVER say to an infertile couple.......
1. Just stop trying
Uuuuggghhhh, where do I even begin with this statement. First, there probably was a good, long point where we weren't trying. Second, there is not a switch that we can pull to turn off wanting to get pregnant. Believe me, if I could I would. It is not fun to take medicine, stress out for two weeks and go through the heartache of another failed month. When a couple is ready to stop trying, they will; your advice will not sway that decision. This statement gets double bad points for those that follow up with "that's how I got pregnant." A better way to approach this type of mentality is to ask "what kind of relaxation techniques have you tried?"
So, now you know! No excuses anymore for any of these things to come out of your mouth! What are some other good statements you all have heard?
Monday, July 1, 2013
Small Victories!
When you are dealing with any sort of disease or ailment, it is hard to not just focus on your end goal. In my case, every month if I don't get pregnant, essentially I fail to beat my disease. It's easy to imagine why this would be depressing and frustrating, which are pretty common emotions in couples with infertility (mom, if you're reading this, I'm sure you can appreciate my use of people first language right there!). One good thing about writing this blog, it forces me to focus down on certain topics, and that has made me realize that I have achieved a lot in terms of "disease management", even if I haven't achieved the end goal.
I am one week post-IUI, which is also one week post-ovulation. I went back to my ob-gyn today to get a blood draw for a progesterone level (I'm also pretty sure they wouldn't know what to do without a weekly call or visit from me!). I won't find out the result of that until tomorrow morning, but I did also request an iron level (or technically a hemoglobin level, which is the part of iron that carries oxygen). The goal is to be between 12 and 14 and my last reading was 11.9, i.e. anemic. When I got my draw today, it was up to a 12.9, the highest it has EVER been since I started tracking about 10-ish years ago. As I've stated in previous posts, I have a STRONG feeling that my low iron is a contributing, if not main, factor in our issues and I have battled issues with iron for quite some time. I am so proud that I didn't just give up or resign myself to anemia; instead I researched and tried new options, stuck to a program and got results!
On my drive home, I started thinking about the topic for this blog (just talking about my iron level seemed a little dry) and it led me to really start thinking about some other "small victories" I've had recently. My other biggest accomplishment to date has been implementing the lifestyle changes that my acupuncturist recommended. Her big two things were limiting cold foods/drinks (i.e. no ice, cooked meats and veggies, etc.) and NO soda. I have been six weeks soda free and about two weeks completely caffeine free. I also stopped taking my adderall, which I started about a year ago.
I honestly thought I was addicted to caffeine and that I was going to feel AWFUL. While I do seem to lose my thoughts mid-sentence quite a bit more, other than that I feel perfectly fine, maybe even better! I don't get dizzy spells anymore, I still have the same energy level as before and I haven't felt any less motivated to do things. I do feel like eating all the time though, apparently caffeine and amphetamines really do suppress the appetite. Such a glorious side effect, but not worth the thought that it may be contributing to our problems. The point behind me stopping was that caffeine and amphetamines both constrict the blood vessels. Smaller vessels --> less blood flow. That coupled with low iron could have been a pretty bad equation for trying to support an early pregnancy. Small victory: getting my body healthy and thinking outside the box to solve our problem.
The last small, recent victory is this blog right here. I am still overwhelmed by the responses and conversations that I have had with people since starting. It is doing exactly what I'd hoped it would do. People have given me advice and words of wisdom from their past experiences. I've also been able to talk to other young women going through this and, hopefully, help them during their process too. I was so scared to do this blog, thinking people might think it is weird or sad, or worse, nobody would care at all. How silly of a thought that was!
So I encourage ANYONE reading this that is going through something, try to find your small victories as well. Most likely, you're going to run in to more disappointments or troubles, but if you can find some positives, some wins, it really will help you cope with the negatives.
I am one week post-IUI, which is also one week post-ovulation. I went back to my ob-gyn today to get a blood draw for a progesterone level (I'm also pretty sure they wouldn't know what to do without a weekly call or visit from me!). I won't find out the result of that until tomorrow morning, but I did also request an iron level (or technically a hemoglobin level, which is the part of iron that carries oxygen). The goal is to be between 12 and 14 and my last reading was 11.9, i.e. anemic. When I got my draw today, it was up to a 12.9, the highest it has EVER been since I started tracking about 10-ish years ago. As I've stated in previous posts, I have a STRONG feeling that my low iron is a contributing, if not main, factor in our issues and I have battled issues with iron for quite some time. I am so proud that I didn't just give up or resign myself to anemia; instead I researched and tried new options, stuck to a program and got results!
On my drive home, I started thinking about the topic for this blog (just talking about my iron level seemed a little dry) and it led me to really start thinking about some other "small victories" I've had recently. My other biggest accomplishment to date has been implementing the lifestyle changes that my acupuncturist recommended. Her big two things were limiting cold foods/drinks (i.e. no ice, cooked meats and veggies, etc.) and NO soda. I have been six weeks soda free and about two weeks completely caffeine free. I also stopped taking my adderall, which I started about a year ago.
I honestly thought I was addicted to caffeine and that I was going to feel AWFUL. While I do seem to lose my thoughts mid-sentence quite a bit more, other than that I feel perfectly fine, maybe even better! I don't get dizzy spells anymore, I still have the same energy level as before and I haven't felt any less motivated to do things. I do feel like eating all the time though, apparently caffeine and amphetamines really do suppress the appetite. Such a glorious side effect, but not worth the thought that it may be contributing to our problems. The point behind me stopping was that caffeine and amphetamines both constrict the blood vessels. Smaller vessels --> less blood flow. That coupled with low iron could have been a pretty bad equation for trying to support an early pregnancy. Small victory: getting my body healthy and thinking outside the box to solve our problem.
The last small, recent victory is this blog right here. I am still overwhelmed by the responses and conversations that I have had with people since starting. It is doing exactly what I'd hoped it would do. People have given me advice and words of wisdom from their past experiences. I've also been able to talk to other young women going through this and, hopefully, help them during their process too. I was so scared to do this blog, thinking people might think it is weird or sad, or worse, nobody would care at all. How silly of a thought that was!
So I encourage ANYONE reading this that is going through something, try to find your small victories as well. Most likely, you're going to run in to more disappointments or troubles, but if you can find some positives, some wins, it really will help you cope with the negatives.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
IUI - the professional turkey baster
So, Travis and I had our first IUI this past Monday. I know it sounds weird but I was SO excited for it, like the kind of excited you get the night before a vacation or when you were a kid waiting for Christmas morning. It felt like we were actively working on fixing our problem and that was just so exhilarating. In the back of my mind, I know it is not good to feel this hopeful, because the disappointment if it fails is so much worse, but your mind is going to think what it wants to think.
I had made the huge error last month of withholding all sex while waiting for the IUI and when my meter failed to read the LH surge last month, we completely missed any chance of having a baby. So, we decided this month to have sex a couple of times during my "high" fertility days, but still gave it a rest for almost 2 days prior to the IUI. This has been explained by many ob-gyn's that an every other day schedule is the best method when scheduling sex for baby-making because they say it takes 48 hours for men to regenerate the required number of sperm to effectively fertilize an egg.
I had made an appointment ahead of time with my ob-gyn, so we had our schedule down. Travis had to collect his "sample" and then we had half an hour to get it to the MD office. Same as when he went for his semen analysis, we needed to keep it as close to body temperature as possible. I got the pleasure of holding it between my legs while he drove; I'm pretty sure his eager offer to drive was so I would have to be the sperm holder.
Once at the office, the nurse took the sample and then we just sat around for about 5-10 minutes. Travis went back to the exam room with me when it was time for the procedure, and as I have said in the past, I would highly recommend having your husband/significant other with you throughout these procedures.
1. It really is a comfort. You're doing a lot of things that are foreign and doctors' offices in general can cause anxiety, so a hand to hold or someone to distract you makes a big difference
2. Even though we are not making a baby the traditional way, WE are still making a baby. I think you have to go through this as a team for your relationship to stay strong.
3. Men's faces are just funny when they see some of the equipment that the ob-gyn pulls out. Men are visual creatures and I don't think they can effectively relate to what you as a woman are going through unless they physically see it with their own eyes.
The procedure itself goes in the following steps:
1. The semen is centrifuged down twice until it becomes a concentrated ball of sperm
2. This concentrated sample is put in to a sperm wash in two test tubes
3. The ob-gyn rolls and inverts the tubes by hand. No vigorous shaking is what my doc told me. This takes about 5 minutes and the color goes from bright pink to a creamy light pink color
4. The doc then draws up all but literally one drop of the sample in to a syringe that attaches to the end of a skinny catheter (i.e. the turkey baster :) )
5. The drop of sample not used is put on a glass slide to examine under the microscope to check out sperm function
6. The catheter has to be inserted up in to your uterus, so they start out much like a typical pelvic exam and slide it on up. The doc reviewed the positioning of my uterus ahead of time, but do not ask me how else he would know where he was anatomy wise. Some things I think are just better not to think about
7. Once the catheter is in place, the wash is squeezed out. It is about 3mL of liquid over all. This places the sperm smack dab where they need to be to easily fertilize an egg
I did have one complication, where he could not get the catheter past the upper part of my cervix. He had to use a second instrument, it's a big long word that starts with a T, but it looked like a long pair of scissors. He told me that this could be painful, kind of like the HSG. Not cool. We all know how much I loved that. As it turned out, there was a burning pain from the instrument (which was only used to help tilt my cervix to provide an easier opening, there was no cutting like with typical scissors, thank God!), but it was not as strong and, because I had experienced it before, it did not give me anxiety.
Once the procedure was complete, I was supposed to lay on the exam table for about 10 minutes. He went and looked at the sperm sample and then he let Travis look at it to, which I thought was so cool for him. I didn't get to see it, but Travis said it was just amazing how many sperms were in that little drop and how fast they were moving. Good sign!
After the procedure was over, I had a lot of soreness and maybe bloating, which I think were from the tilting and probably some air getting squeezed through the catheter. This lasted about 2 days total and was especially tender on the first day. Anyone reading this that may know, is this typical? Also, how did this procedure compare to yours? I'm thinking the infertility docs probably have more high tech equipment. Finally, somewhat unrelated, does anyone know if they ever double ovulated while on clomid, like on day 14 and 16? I had two temp spikes this month, which seems really weird.
I had made the huge error last month of withholding all sex while waiting for the IUI and when my meter failed to read the LH surge last month, we completely missed any chance of having a baby. So, we decided this month to have sex a couple of times during my "high" fertility days, but still gave it a rest for almost 2 days prior to the IUI. This has been explained by many ob-gyn's that an every other day schedule is the best method when scheduling sex for baby-making because they say it takes 48 hours for men to regenerate the required number of sperm to effectively fertilize an egg.
I had made an appointment ahead of time with my ob-gyn, so we had our schedule down. Travis had to collect his "sample" and then we had half an hour to get it to the MD office. Same as when he went for his semen analysis, we needed to keep it as close to body temperature as possible. I got the pleasure of holding it between my legs while he drove; I'm pretty sure his eager offer to drive was so I would have to be the sperm holder.
Once at the office, the nurse took the sample and then we just sat around for about 5-10 minutes. Travis went back to the exam room with me when it was time for the procedure, and as I have said in the past, I would highly recommend having your husband/significant other with you throughout these procedures.
1. It really is a comfort. You're doing a lot of things that are foreign and doctors' offices in general can cause anxiety, so a hand to hold or someone to distract you makes a big difference
2. Even though we are not making a baby the traditional way, WE are still making a baby. I think you have to go through this as a team for your relationship to stay strong.
3. Men's faces are just funny when they see some of the equipment that the ob-gyn pulls out. Men are visual creatures and I don't think they can effectively relate to what you as a woman are going through unless they physically see it with their own eyes.
The procedure itself goes in the following steps:
1. The semen is centrifuged down twice until it becomes a concentrated ball of sperm
2. This concentrated sample is put in to a sperm wash in two test tubes
 |
| Pic of sperm wash bottle (empty) |
3. The ob-gyn rolls and inverts the tubes by hand. No vigorous shaking is what my doc told me. This takes about 5 minutes and the color goes from bright pink to a creamy light pink color
4. The doc then draws up all but literally one drop of the sample in to a syringe that attaches to the end of a skinny catheter (i.e. the turkey baster :) )
 |
| Pic of catheter w/ syringe filled with sperm + wash |
5. The drop of sample not used is put on a glass slide to examine under the microscope to check out sperm function
6. The catheter has to be inserted up in to your uterus, so they start out much like a typical pelvic exam and slide it on up. The doc reviewed the positioning of my uterus ahead of time, but do not ask me how else he would know where he was anatomy wise. Some things I think are just better not to think about
7. Once the catheter is in place, the wash is squeezed out. It is about 3mL of liquid over all. This places the sperm smack dab where they need to be to easily fertilize an egg
I did have one complication, where he could not get the catheter past the upper part of my cervix. He had to use a second instrument, it's a big long word that starts with a T, but it looked like a long pair of scissors. He told me that this could be painful, kind of like the HSG. Not cool. We all know how much I loved that. As it turned out, there was a burning pain from the instrument (which was only used to help tilt my cervix to provide an easier opening, there was no cutting like with typical scissors, thank God!), but it was not as strong and, because I had experienced it before, it did not give me anxiety.
Once the procedure was complete, I was supposed to lay on the exam table for about 10 minutes. He went and looked at the sperm sample and then he let Travis look at it to, which I thought was so cool for him. I didn't get to see it, but Travis said it was just amazing how many sperms were in that little drop and how fast they were moving. Good sign!
After the procedure was over, I had a lot of soreness and maybe bloating, which I think were from the tilting and probably some air getting squeezed through the catheter. This lasted about 2 days total and was especially tender on the first day. Anyone reading this that may know, is this typical? Also, how did this procedure compare to yours? I'm thinking the infertility docs probably have more high tech equipment. Finally, somewhat unrelated, does anyone know if they ever double ovulated while on clomid, like on day 14 and 16? I had two temp spikes this month, which seems really weird.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Reflections on a life cut too short
I am going to break away tonight from my typical posts about baby business to reflect on a friend that passed far too soon. A lot of us in Wilmington end up here because we enjoy the beach life or the southern way; many times that moves us far from home. Because of this, a second family is formed where your friends become your brothers and sisters (and in some instances children). The Wilmington community lost one of our brothers today; his name is Nick Mowers, he was a friend of mine and a dear friend to Travis, as with many others. I don't know all of the details and the ones I do know really don't need to be posted over the internet, but I know that his death was sudden and unexpected and he was far too young.
I want to talk a little about Nick as a person, but, to relate this somewhat to this blog, I want to first think about the experience of unexpectedly losing a life. There is a strange mix of deep sadness for the loss coupled with fear of how your life can change in the blink of an eye. People hug their loved ones a little longer and express their feelings a little louder because when something like this happens to a friend, who knows who it could happen to next? There is no rhyme or reason, because if there was, Nick would certainly still be here with us. I think what this tragedy can do is make us all live a little bit harder. If you love someone, tell them; if you want to try something, do it; if you are wishing for something, try harder. From what I know, Nick modeled his life that way; he had fun with his friends, utilized his creativity to do what he loved, cared for others, even those that were hard to care for. These thoughts give me more resolve to continue on my journey towards having children and I hope this would make Nick happy.
So, in closing, I just wanted to share how I will remember Nick. I'll remember always being happy to see him at Slaintes on Saturday afternoons; there was no way I was leaving there without a lot of laughs and I don't think it will ever feel the same. I'll remember the way he could always poke fun of Travis for his preppy tendencies and get away with it. I remember thinking he was just so cool, a man's man that designs jewelry, how often do you find that? I'm sure not everybody got fashion advice from Nick, but if he liked a piece of my jewelry I knew it was a keeper. I'll also remember how he talked about his work as a teacher, how he would lament about his students and the school system, but you could tell deep down that he truly cared for those kids. But I will mostly remember him on nights out, surrounded by his friends, and all of the fun that surrounded him as well. Rest in peace Nick, you will be missed.
I want to talk a little about Nick as a person, but, to relate this somewhat to this blog, I want to first think about the experience of unexpectedly losing a life. There is a strange mix of deep sadness for the loss coupled with fear of how your life can change in the blink of an eye. People hug their loved ones a little longer and express their feelings a little louder because when something like this happens to a friend, who knows who it could happen to next? There is no rhyme or reason, because if there was, Nick would certainly still be here with us. I think what this tragedy can do is make us all live a little bit harder. If you love someone, tell them; if you want to try something, do it; if you are wishing for something, try harder. From what I know, Nick modeled his life that way; he had fun with his friends, utilized his creativity to do what he loved, cared for others, even those that were hard to care for. These thoughts give me more resolve to continue on my journey towards having children and I hope this would make Nick happy.
So, in closing, I just wanted to share how I will remember Nick. I'll remember always being happy to see him at Slaintes on Saturday afternoons; there was no way I was leaving there without a lot of laughs and I don't think it will ever feel the same. I'll remember the way he could always poke fun of Travis for his preppy tendencies and get away with it. I remember thinking he was just so cool, a man's man that designs jewelry, how often do you find that? I'm sure not everybody got fashion advice from Nick, but if he liked a piece of my jewelry I knew it was a keeper. I'll also remember how he talked about his work as a teacher, how he would lament about his students and the school system, but you could tell deep down that he truly cared for those kids. But I will mostly remember him on nights out, surrounded by his friends, and all of the fun that surrounded him as well. Rest in peace Nick, you will be missed.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
If at first you don't succeed...stick a bunch of needles in your body
My most recent endeavor in the fertility field has been starting up acupuncture. I was reading some baby blogs one night after a rather disappointing day when I happened across a post from a lady touting acupuncture. Per her account, she had tried all of the standard therapies with no success and tried acupuncture as a last resort. Her acupuncturist told her there were some issues with her kidneys and by her next cycle she was pregnant. I was at the point where I was taking clomid, mucinex, prenatals, extra folic acid, iron, waiting for a fertility specialist consult and an IUI treatment when I read this. Her story really stuck with me, mainly because it would not add any more medications or hormones. Also, I figured, what could it really hurt?
I actually did a little research on fertility based acupuncture before selecting an acupuncturist and starting treatments. A lot of times I just jump head-first in to things and only realize my mistakes after I'm in the middle of it. There was just something about the thought of someone poking needles in to my body that made me want to get all of my facts straight. Here are the main take-aways I got from my research (of note: my research pretty much consists of what I found on google searches).
* Acupuncture has a number of uses, most commonly used to alleviate pain and stabilize mood, but there is a specific subsection to help with fertility. Not all acupuncturists specialize in fertility, so this is a good start off question to ask when selecting a practice.
* Just like any medical profession, there are levels of certification for acupuncturists. I would recommend using a nationally certified acupuncturist, just as I would recommend using a board certified fertility specialists. No certification, no certainty that they really know their stuff. The major association for certified acupuncturists is The National Certification Commission of Acupuncture (NCCAM). Here is a link where to find local acupuncturists certified with the NCCAM:
www.nccaom.org/find-a-nccaom-certified-practitioner
I looked up a few acupuncturists on this site and they were NOT all certified.
* You can utilize acupuncture for fertility before you get pregnant up through your first trimester of pregnancy. There are certain "trigger points" that are contraindicated in pregnancy. Worth it to quiz your acupuncturist on these before getting started; if they don't know then they probably shouldn't be used. Here are the trigger points from an article about infertility and acupuncture:
There are 6 contraindicated acupuncture points which should be avoided when the patient is pregnant or pregnancy is suspected. These include Gallbladder 21, Stomach 12, Large Intestine 4, Spleen 6, Bladder 60, Bladder 67 and any points on the lower abdomen.
* The basis of acupuncture is that every person has an energy (qi) which can be channeled or redirected along specific meridians. These meridians include the small and large intestine, kidneys, liver, spleen, gallbladder, bladder, thyroid and I'm sure many others. Needles are inserted at certain points to redirect this energy to where it is needed.
After some consideration, I contacted Lumina AcuClinic here in Wilmington. The acupuncturist was NCCAM certified, had a fertility specialty and was originally trained in China. I braced myself for the pricing and it was less than expected. The initial consult is $95 and all other following sessions are $75. I was recommended to come once weekly, except for weeks when I am on my period. So, overall expect to pay about $225/month.
My first visit, I was nervous. On top of not knowing what type of pain might be associated, the acupuncturist (Ms. En) told me that I would likely have to make lifestyle changes. I was really liking my current lifestyle so I wasn't too excited to hear about these changes. I sat and talked to Ms. En for about 30 minutes during that first session and she asked me a series of questions about my health history, Travis's health history and both of our families' health histories. She asked about past and current meds, including birth control, caffeine, alcohol and tobacco intake and diet/exercise habits. Finally, she also asked me really specific questions such as "is your mouth dry a lot" and "are your feet often cold."
At the end of all of this, she concluded that my two biggest problems are:
1. Women that take birth control for long periods of time (I did for about 10 years) can take a long time to get pregnant, longer than the normal 6 months that doctors state.
2. I was "too cold" and this was most likely due to an issue with my spleen (i.e. we would be focusing on the spleen meridian).
The lifestyle changes that she recommended were:
1. Try to eat more protein and less carbs. Carbohydrate cravings are a sign of an imbalanced spleen.
2. No more soda, even diet. She said that there is just too much "bad stuff" (my words, not hers) in them and they are doing me no good
3. Try to limit cold foods and drink. Biggest tips: only drink warm or room temp liquids (or at least no ice cold drinks) and eat cooked vegetables in stead of cold, raw veggies (i.e. limit salad). A lot of people think the drink part sounds awful, however I have noticed one benefit. When ordering drinks at a bar or restaurant, the waiters are so thrown off by your request, that they still fill your glass completely full without the ice. If out drinking, this equals a lot more bang for your buck!
I was pretty happy with her assessment, because I felt like it was in line with my theory. When she said I was "too cold", I took that to mean that I did not have enough blood flow. This is in line with my low iron and low blood pressure diagnoses.
The next step was, obviously, the acupuncture. To prep, you change in to a hospital gown, the one with the ties in the front like you use at the ob-gyn. You lay down on an exam table with a pillow below your head and knees. The acupuncturist will swab the areas with alcohol where the needles will be inserted. Once complete, the needles are inserted from the top of the head down through your feet. A timer is set for 30 minutes, a heat lamp placed over your stomach and a bell set beside your finger. You are supposed to lay still the entire time, if you move it can sometimes send little shock pains down your body. I had an itch on my nose the first time and when I went to scrunch my nose, it did just that starting at the crown of my head. I let that itch go after that.
Needle insertion honestly does not hurt; it feels like a little numb prick, like the sensations you feel when your foot or hand falls asleep. They are localized to the small area where the needle is inserted. Probably about one needle per session will send a little shock wave up the localized area, but that goes away immediately. There are almost no marks left once the needles are taken out, only occasionally on the hands and feet.
The one problem when using acupuncture for fertility, much like any fertility treatment, is you can't really tell if it is doing anything helpful. The only real measure is getting pregnant; there isn't any in between. So, I will just keep my fingers crossed and try to take the suggested lifestyle changes seriously.
Below I've included a number of pictures taken from my acupuncture session today. These will probably "explain" the process better than anything I could write.
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| Sharps Container and Alcohol |
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| Exam table, gown and heat lamp |
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| Sterile needles, individually packaged |
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| Needle placed at base of head, this one always freaks people out |
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| Needles in and around the belly |
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| Needles in the leg |
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| Needles in leg and foot |
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